Sunday, February 3, 2008

Lost in Deep Thought and Deep Snow; The myth of a balanced life

*Disclaimer* Any philosophical thought and opinions expressed may change at any given notice

"The key to a happy life is balance, balance, balance." Sound Familiar? I have read it in magazines and self-help books and heard Oprah Winfrey and countless others flap on and on about it. As a result, I have often found myself on a quest for the perfect balance in my own life. Indeed, I have experienced brief sighs of moments where I actually have felt like I had all of my eggs in one basket. Where I have felt spiritually, emotionally, socially, and physically well balanced. But these moments are as temporary as a bowl of popcorn. Stablility in my life is about as hard to come by as this snow poised on a single pine needle. If a balanced life is the definition of success, I am doomed. It took a week like this past week to remind me that perhaps equilibrium is a tad bit overrated. I presently believe that the most beauty can be found and discovered in a world that is unstable and that perhaps it is the act of striving for balance and harmony that can bring us the most happiness. We may find stability for brief moments, but in order for us to feel pain and in turn grow and change, this stability must be lost. There is a shifting and continous reaching for a new balance within ourselves. Thus, because triumph can be found in the voyage without necessarily ever meeting our target, we need not worry about our speed. Perhaps is is best to dawdle a bit. I will elaborate below(see continuation).

Savanna was looking for a Thesaurus and Ansel brought her his dinosaurs. He did do a few things other than eat snow.

In a moment of frustration, I (jokingly, of course) told Savanna that we were going to send her to boot camp, where she would really learn how to clean her room. An hour and a half later, she appeared red-eyed and tear-stained pleading with me not to send her to boot camp. I definitely won the LOUSY MOTHER OF THE EVENING award.

School was cancelled for the entire week and Emmy had a hard time with this disruption and lack of structure.

This is me whilst lost in deep thought and prior to being lost in deep snow. Also, I must note that this is my first self-timed photo of just self. Out of comfort zone=loss of equilibrium=growth=happiness

Continuation of Story: Our stability was knocked way out line this week by the equilibrium seeking pressure systems resulting in record-breaking and sustained amounts of snow. I am grateful for this loss of atmospheric balance causing these storms. It left us all in jaw-dropping awe, again reminding us that, in spite of all our efforts, we are never completely in control of our lives. Church was cancelled. School was cancelled. Corey went skiing and ended up in the ER(see Doady's blog). A visit from Boise Grandparents was cancelled. Piano lessons were yep, you guessed it, cancelled. All of my efforts to maintain a balanced household were thwarted and by Friday, I had that Blah feeling I get when I feel like my existence in the universe is just taking up space. Honestly, I believe that my children needed a break from me more than I needed a break from them. Corey granted me a Free Day and Saturday morning I found myself cross-country skiing at the closest State Park. My destination was an eagle's nest I knew existed about 3 miles down the trail from where I park. I never arrived. 10 years ago, I would have been disgusted by the fact that I never made it to my intended destination. I wonder how much beauty I have overlooked by racing down trails to ensure my arrival? Today, I couldn't stop noticing the smallest intricacies and details in nooks of tree trunks and crannies of rocks.
2 hours later, I found that my skis where cramping my exploratory style and buried them in some snow. I also found that the trail was cramping my style and made my own trail among the many fauna hoofprints.
3 hours later, it began snowing and I concluded that although I was savoring every morsel of my excursion, I was disoriented and lost. I began wondering if I may end up beside William R. Hager, Trainmaster U.S.A.
I was again reminded that happiness can be found all along and off the trail of life. Life is precious. Life is intricate and beautiful. I think that these realizations are usually found in moments of discord and inbalance. I think too many priceless moments are overlooked when we strive too hard for equilibrium. Go suck it balanced life. I soon found a road and walked back to my car, tired, hungry, and happy.
I am the Brittney DEERS POOPeratzi (okay, so some of my thoughts weren't all that deep)


Anonymous said...

brilliant as always, what a priceless day. all the snow you're getting is killing a case of ever getting you guys to jackson.

Anonymous said...

krjheGREAT BLOG. Gorgeous photos. Hope to see you all soon, when the snow melts a tad.

Anonymous said...

I am in love with your blog. It always makes me happy and thoughtful. Blog on dear friend, blog on.

Joal said...

"Go suck it balanced life." That would make a fun and enjoyable saying to put on a cross-stitch mural that you could make at a Relief Society event.

I enjoyed your thoughts and the complementary photos (I especially enjoyed the natural-looking pose in the self-portrait). Here's a thought that just befell me: We have things that throw our lives off track, frustrate us, overwhelm us. But, as you say in your blog entry, these times of imbalance make the times of balance stand out; they make the times of balance delicious. Without disruption, we may not notice equilibrium. In a way, then, imbalance balances balance. Is balance inescapable?

Camille (of the wind) said...

You almost make snow and winter look enjoyable....almost. Good job on the self-timed photo of self. If you need any tips let me know, I have become an expert.

Emmy! 8D said...

mom, I think that you are really wierd sometimes.

Anonymous said...

Wow, that was heavy in a really good way. Thanks for the pooperazi to bring us all back to earth. ;-)