Flying the Coop

Ranking high on the list of the most spontaneous co-spousal decisions we have made in our marital history is unquestionably the one we made last Sunday night at 11 pm to go to Utah for Thanksgiving. This was going to be our first solo Thanksgiving....we would be absolutely alone to eat whenever and whatever we pleased...with plenty of elbow room. Sighs of relief from Corey....gasps of lonely panic from me. I felt gloomy all day, and right before I crawled into bed Sunday night, Corey mentioned he had meetings on Monday and Tuesday night. My lonely panic swelled. I unpremeditatedly hinted at the possibility of me leaving the next day and Corey flying out as soon as he could on Wednesday. He could ski. It would mean no elbow room, possibly no sitting room, and legs extending far over the end of the guest beds. He could ski. It would mean a 7 hour layover flight arriving past midnight on Wednesday night. He could ski. It would mean so many kids bouncing around, that one can barely have a conversation. He could ski. If there had been any trace of snow on Mt. Spokane and if Corey didn't have such a bad case of ski anticipatory jimmy legs, I don't think there would have been a wishbone of a chance of abandoning our turkey to thaw and bleed all over the refridgerator (I didn't have to deal with that bloody mess until Monday).

I left the next morning at 11 am and after 3 hours of the 12 hour drive, I cursed myself for ever coming up with this crazy 750 mile idea. Then I remembered my mother's homemade rolls. I would drive 1000 miles for one of those. The kids were really great in the car busying themselves with books, drawing, and Nintendo DS. I needed potty breaks more frequently than they did. The final 3 hours, however, the powerful pull of cousins took possession of their souls and they became excruciatingly annoying. "How much longer? How much farther? How many more miles? What time will we get there? How many more minutes?"....as if rearranging the question will change the outcome. I finally resorted to the pathetically empty threat of ,"If you ask me one more time, I will turn around and go home."

We arrived. Two days later, Corey arrived. All of the long driving hours, the noisy kids, the late flight, the small beds, the chaos, the knee knocking tight fit at the Thanksgiving table and the astounding lack of decision making ability when 3 or more of my siblings congregate.....all of this discomfort was swallowed by a few miraculous moments that were created by just being together.

Great Grandpa Stacey is swarmed by adoring great-grandchildren

Grandma P. teaches Ansel some checker strategy

Grandma P. orchestrates singing time

Ansel spends quality time with his cousins that he thinks are his brothers.

Emmy gets in some climbing time on Grandpa P.'s apple tree

Corey and I get our day of skiing at Alta.

Emmy sacrifices book space to make Ansel comfortable.

This is the only picture I have of Savanna on the trip mainly because this was the only time I really saw her on the whole trip....sleeping on the drive home.

My name is Vanessa and I'm a Blogaholic

This is how I feel inside

I crossed a line last week. I don't know exactly when I crossed this line, but I recognized the breach when I found myself vocally yelling at the computer screen.  Hotheadedly shouting at an undisclosed and non-living news site which listed its prime top stories side by side as  1. The children in the Congo struggling to survive and 2.  Madonna's ugly divorce proceedings.  I am not going to go into all the problems I have with the media.  It is the same reason that I can seldom stomach watching Oprah Winfrey.   Tuesday's episode about hidden beauty secrets and how to look 10 years younger is a huge slap in the face after Monday's solemn and soul-wrenching hour looking into the lives of child prostitutes.  Yes, I am being embarrassingly negative, pessimistic, and hypocritical.  That is what crossing the line did to me.

There are many areas in which I lack self-discipline, but I have always thought myself immune to the seductions of cyberspace. More than an hour at a time at the computer usually results in a backache, nausea, and a general feeling of out of body yuckiness. When I started this blog almost a year ago, I was a bit skeptical of the longevity of my efforts. I didn't think I could stick it out. I must admit that I quickly found it a satisfying endeavor, felt devoted to it, and found it enjoyable to dedicate a part of my week documenting our recent family adventures.  It was a therapeutic outlet for learning, creativity, and self-expression that is  priceless in my life as a stay at home mother.  I love reading other blogs, feeling connected to friends and family, and glimpsing morsels of their personality that remain elusive in vocalized communication.   

Face book has been a serendipitous adventure similar to finding a twenty dollar bill in the jeans I haven't worn in a year.  I have reconnected and reminisced with friends that I haven't spoken to since my heart-breaking move from New York to Utah 25 years ago.  It is miraculous how you can sum up the past 25 years of your life in a paragraph and then resume the relationship without so much as a hiccup.  It is an amazing testament to the strength and tenacity of friendship.  And then there are those random people from high school that want to be my friend, even though I can't remember them ever saying a word to me in high school. I think that we are just looking for ways to connect to people in some way.....and if the fact that we graduated the same year from the same high school is enough for them  to consider me a friend...maybe this connection is all we need.

 What a miracle the Internet is.  I can find out what is going on in every corner of the world with just the click of the mouse. I can have discussions with people on the Internet about what is happening in the world.  I have a voice. I can answer all of Ansel's strange questions with the help of my great friend GOOGLE.  I took swimming lessons and knitting lessons via you Tube. 

I can go to a remote village in Italy on Google Earth.  It truly is an unfathomable means of global communication.  

 Again,  I am not sure at what moment this occurred, but last week was point where the scales tipped and I realized that my healthy relationship with cyberspace was in danger of becoming pathological. 

Psychologists are debating the possible symptoms of Internet addiction.  It is not officially listed in the DSM IV yet, but it is most likely just a matter of time as more and more lives are being sucked into black hole of cyberspace. 

I have listed some of the symptoms that have been discussed and how they relate to my life recently.

1.  drastic lifestyle changes in order to spend more time on the net

CHECK:More than 4 hours a day is a drastic change in my life

2. general decrease in physical activity

CHECK:I only went to the gym once last week.

3.  a disregard for one's health as a result of Internet activity

CHECK: one jar of nutella and stolen Halloween candy from the kids stashes

4.  Avoiding important life activities in order to spend time on the net

CHECK:  Waiting until after the kids are starving to make dinner.   Ignoring Corey. Pretty much not doing anything else. 

5. sleep deprivation or a change in sleep patterns in order to spend time on the net

CHECK:  I found myself so wrapped up in things, that I would get into bed with my heart pounding.  I did once stay on so late and was so nauseous that I threw up....and then got right back on. 

 
6. neglecting family and friends

CHECK:  It wasn't so much what I did, but how I felt about them.  I wanted them to leave me alone.  I wanted them to play on their own.  I chose to miss out on them.  I couldn't wait for them to go to bed so that I could get back on the computer.  

8. a craving for more time at the computer

CHECK.  CHECK. CHECK.  CHECK.

9. neglecting job and personal obligations

CHECK.  I went through the motions, but didn't put any heart into any of it. 

 

Corey mentioned last week that he thought I was taking life a little too seriously.  I never want to do that.  I don't think you can be much of an instrument in saving any part of the world if you are not savoring any part of it at the same time. When I had a thriving optimistic relationship with the computer, it was a tool for enriching my life and documenting my relishing in this living.  When this tool took the precedence over actually having a life, I knew I needed to take a step back.  I will be more careful in the future.  I promise that my next blog  will be back on the other side of the line.

Foggy Ideas

A fog descended Halloween night and has yet to retreat. It has either been drizzling, raining, and/or clouding the entire 10 days. This is fairly typical for the transitional weather between fall and winter here in Spokane. It has something to do with the topography of the Columbia Basin in eastern Washington.  I really enjoy the first few weeks that the sun begins to take its hiatus (3 minutes lost every day). I can easily rationalize staying home and curling up with a book. I feel a little lazy and I am ok with it. The in-house activities that I have been stowing away for rainy days are fresh and exciting. It is an unexplicably comforting experience when the upper atmosphere descends and nestles itself by our front door....similar to being wrapped in a warm blanket of dry ice.  I love dry ice.  My muddy afternoon strolls though our woods are filled with a surreal romanticism mixed with a touch of terror considering I can't see that far ahead of me and I have heard a few rogue gunshots lately (During the election, I grew fond of the word rogue).    

So what have we been doing with our extra time indoors?

We spent almost an entire day building and flying paper airplanes. Ansel quickly dubbed his favorite, The Ninja, and I found the way that he curls his tongue above his upper lip when he is launching 'The Ninja' to be completely irresistible.

Ansel has stashed his Halloween candy in nooks and crannies throughout the house. He says "I am saving it for winter." Every day he asks me if it is winter yet. I don't think he has partaken of even one piece.

I am hoping that our spacious great room with the huge windows will spare us from the severe cases of claustrophobic stir-craziness that afflict many of us living at 47 degrees N. latitude  during the long winter months. Corey just purchased a snow-blower (our gravel drive-way is a quarter of a mile long...we are justified, right?). I am still hopeful that there will be a few snowy days that we will be completely trapped in our house.

I don't know if there has ever been a "Fantastic" school picture in the history of school pictures. There have been many horrible school photos. I think the results for 2008 are "acceptably cute"

Emmy keeps her candy in this bag by her bed. She eats one piece a day. From Where Where Where did these self-disciplined children come? My Halloween candy was always gone in two days. In all fairness, my father did take half of it due to potential "poison and razor blades."

Due to her incredible amount of focus and ability, Emmy has forced her teacher to design new math tests to personally suit her cerebral needs. While volunteering in the classroom, I have noticed that the teacher has positioned Emmy to be her personal teacher's aid. Emmy says that she doesn't mind this role, but I am not so sure that this is an ideal situation. Any suggestions?

Savanna--5th grade 2008

Vanessa.....5th grade 1982

5th grade doesn't seem that long ago to me and in some ways, I still feel like a 5th grader.  I see a small resemblance between the two of us. Unfortunately, Savanna is lacking the luscious long bangs, the over sized pink sweater with bits of silver flair laced throughout, and best of all, the feather barrette purchased at the local flea market with hard-earned paper route money.

Savanna's class recently traveled back to the year 1621 and demonstrated what Pilgrim life was like living with 6 other people in a 12 foot by 12 foot thatched one-room house and sharing a piece of bread for breakfast. I have a hard time believing that cat's cradle and marbles were enough to keep these people from killing each other.

I mentioned in an earlier post that Savanna recently won the Wilson Elementary t-shirt logo design contest. Here it is. I can't wait to take a family photo in our matching shirts. The shirts may not last forever, but Savanna's beaming face when she told me she had won will hang in my permanent gallery of memories. And a banner with the logo will hang in Wilson's main hall until the end of time.

Food tastes so much better when:

1. It is cold and wet outside

2. I am not the one doing the cooking

We have been having some great meals.  I sing Glory Halleluiah when Corey will cook dinner and I have been singing quite frequently the past few weeks.  It is still in debate as to whether or not I fell in love with him or his salsa.  I haven't tasted a fresher Pad Thai (above) and he recently added this amazing Tomato Basil Soup to his "menu of meals I would consider trading my children for." 

This is the book with which I  have doing the recent curling. It has been a rough relationship. I haven't struggled this much with a book since the 3rd and last time I tried to read Moby Dick. I can't understand why I hate it so much when it has been critically acclaimed and Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment was one of my favorite novels. This book is just too much work. I am hoping that I am just not in the mood for a Russian 19th century novel about a severely dysfunctional family at this particular lazy moment in my life. I am really hoping that I am not just plain too dumb. Last night, I decided to put it on hold for a while and began reading the biography of Gandhi.