Friday, May 22, 2009

My First Standing Ovation


By relating this experience, I will be divulging a source of inner power that I have hitherto left undisclosed.  For those of you who have previously left me in the dust on running/biking excursions,  it is only because I did not hazard to publicly unleash my proven effective methods of increased muscular voltage.  

In order to avoid the suppression of my stamina bursts due to the fact that it is not socially "normal" behavior, I habitually choose a jogging or biking course which will have the most minimal likelihood of publicity.  A very negligible number of passing strangers have warmly, patronizingly, mockingly caught me by surprise whilst in the act of secret performance enhancement.  Nothing too humiliating.  But today,  I was completely and utterly outed.  
MY SECRET:  When I am hitting an endorphin wall while running or biking up a particularly or not particularly steep hill, I can find elusive stashes of velocity by ........singing out loud.  Maybe everyone does this.  Maybe this post will cause all of you closeted exercise singers to come pouring out of the nooks and crannies of society and we can finally discard our shame and exer-harmonize together.  

This morning I was on a bike ride through the rolling Palouse farmland.  I turned up a road in which I was not familiar and found myself faced with a more challenging semi-vertical ascension.  I needed to call upon my booster.   I started singing along with the song that happened to be playing on my MP3 player at the moment, which was WAY OVER YONDER IN THE MINOR KEY, a duet by Billy Bragg and Natalie Merchant.  These are the words that I was belting, which I am sure was way over yonder in an OFF-KEY:

She said it's hard for me to see
how one little boy got so ugly
Yes, my little girly, that might be,
but there ain't nobody that can sing like me
Aint nobody that can sing like me 
Way over yonder in the minor key
way over yonder in the minor key
Aint nobody that can sing like me

I was concentrating on the few feet in front of me and failed to notice a rogue Immaculate Center of Retreat which was conducting a congregational social brunch or meeting of sorts.  Before I was able to stifle my expressive behavior, I saw a large group of people standing and clapping.   I become quite red while under physical exertion and hopefully this masked the scarlet burning of embarrassment.  I have never craved the limelight and have expended an exorbitant amount of energy avoiding the possibility of ever being the center of attention. 

One of the many reasons that I loved living in Portland was that I frequently crossed the path of carefree individuals singing merrily down the stream of people on the crowded sidewalks.  Regardless of whether or not they were of unwavering mental health, they seemed happy and it brought me joy to witness an act of absolute freedom from fear of scrutiny.  So I am taking the liberal assumption that today, I offered a moment of bliss into the lives of the inhabitants of the Immaculate Center of Retreat.  

And if you are ever running or biking with me and I start singing.......prepare to eat my dust.

2 comments:

Lucy said...

So funny! I wish I was part of the retreat...I would have stood and applauded as well.

Really, it's saying something about your breathing technique. Singing takes A LOT of breath, so if you can do that during your most strenuous moments, you are in excellent shape. Just one more thing that takes your superness up a notch:)

Brunabug said...

I love reading your blog and learning more and more about you. You are such an amazing person. And I would have to agree with Lucy that you must have amazing lung power! :) Wish I could have been one of those people giving you the standing ovation. I would have been shouting "WHOOOO!"