Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Ansel's Octabirthday....80 things about you

1.  You were born on your due date(March 6th) and came into the world as quietly as a kitten.  
2.    Emmy wanted to name you Dradle because it rhymes with Cradle
3.  Savanna wanted to name you Louis because she was reading and loving, Trumpet of the Swans 
4.  Savanna told her church class that we were going to name you, Pepperoni (thanks to her aunt, Elizabeth).  We received  a few concerned remarks.
5.  Dad wanted to name you Whistler because he thought you might be a born a puppy.  
6.  Other names that we considered were:  Alder, Ainsley, Elliot, Everett, Finley, Aahmes, Aclerly, Kenyon, Solon, Walden, River, Quincey, Knolton, Henry, and Roam.
7.  Your nicknames have included Sully, Bender, Donald (the girls), Sal, and Finnigan.  
8.  Ansel means "fortunate, blessed, and happy"  I have never known a baby that smiled so much. 
9.  I have also never known a baby/toddler that drooled so much. The front of your shirts were soaked for the first 2 years of your life.  Maybe this drool was in direct correlation to your happiness.

10.  You love to have paper rubbed lightly over your face
11.You love "taking haircuts"
12.  Went through a Thomas the Tank Engine phase.  (you can tell which phase you were in by the style of birthday cake you chose.)
13.  Used to say, "I am your Threeth child."
14.  You were  engulfed with fever on your 4th birthday, but tried sooo hard to still enjoy the day.
15. Went through a long Monster Truck Phase and slept with a blue monster truck
16.  Went thought a huge Pokemon phase
17.  Went through an enormous football stage
18.  You have swallowed at least two of your teeth
19.  You hate watersides, roller coasters, and river rafting
20. You tolerate 3rd degree burns without a whimper

21.  You don't like chocolate
22.  You could live on cereal and pad thai
23.  You laugh in your sleep quite frequently
24.  I thought you loved going to school, but you were really only terrified of being at home....on account of the bears.
25.  You hid in some racks at a store in Park City and didn't care that I was hysterical and about to call the Navy Seals.
26.  You love to have family meetings.  It must be your Mormon heritage.
27.  Told me I was a bad mother for letting the batteries in your toys die.
28.  I confess that I like it when you are sick because you are cuddly.
29.  You burned your shirt cooking it in the microwave
30. Called a man with an eye patch in the grocery store, "a dirty pirate"

31.  Play winter Basketball
32.  Run with the school running club before or after school.
33.  You have only given me one hate letter.
34.  Wish you could play football, but we  are kind of hoping that you will change your mind.
35. You have eaten so much snow.
36.  Ran naked in the rain during a double rainbow
37.  Always stick out your tongue when you are concentrating

38.  When asked what you had been up to, you cheerfully admitted that you and your cousin, Ollie,  had been partying in spiritual darkness
39.  Proclaimed that if elected President, your first order of business would be to declare Dr. Seuss's birthday a school holiday.

40.  Ansel:  "A childhood sounds way cooler than a neighborhood"
Me:  Why?
Ansel:  "No adults"



41.  While in the middle of our first "game drive" in South Africa, you ask, "So, where are all the games?"

42.  Exclaimed, "I am never going to wash this Cheetah fur off my hands!" after your wish of petting a Cheetah came true.

43.  When praying, "I thank they for this stay" (we always say thank thee for this day), he stopped his prayer and said, "what does 'this stay' mean."

44.  2012...started piano lessons.  
45.  2004...I feel terrible that I don't remember what you were for your first Halloween.  
46.  2005  skunk for Halloween
47.  2006..elephant for Halloween.
48.  2007....Puppy Dog for Halloween
49.  2008...Cheetah for Halloween
50.  2009....Astronaut for Halloween
51.  2010....Tiger for halloween
52.  2011...ninja for Halloween

53.  play on a spring and fall soccer team
54.  Cried when you got your first cavity
55.  Have never needed stitches or broken any bones, but have had a foot x-ray.
56.  Wish that you had an older brother
57.  Frequently request  me and Corey to go on a date so you can be alone with the girls
58.  You hate to have a stuffy nose 
59.  You have only cut your own hair once.
60.  You love to go on trips!

61.  I know that you secretly love to wash the dishes and fold clothes
62.  You just learned to cook a few things and loved it.
63.  Take handfuls of mint from restaurants, stash them in your pocket, and never eat them.
64.  Won't let me throw away your skittles wrappers because they are "air fresheners."
65.  You hate church shoes
66.  You might be a little spoiled.
67.  You love math and have requested us to find homework for you to do.
68.  Your laugh has always been infectious
69.  You lose your stuff all the time and then blame me for losing it.
70.  You have been to South Africa, Costa Rica, and Canada.  You want to go to Peru or Australia next.
71.  You think Walt Disney is a kook.
72.  You like rap music...and prefer it loud.
73.  Will listen to a song 100 times in a row.
74.   Your teachers always love you.
75.  You don't like to read......yet.
76.  You are a great backpacker.
77.  Call my name at least 100 times a day.  I have a love/hate feeling about this.
78.  You and Dad are great pals
79.  You torture the cats with your love
80.   I torture you with my love.


Thursday, March 8, 2012

The "game" of LIFE

Emmy: "Ansel, where did your kids and your wife go?"

Ansel:  "I gave my kids up for adoption.  They were too expensive.  And I threw my wife out the window."

Savanna: "Then you have to go to jail."

Ansel: "There is no jail in this game"

Ansel: "Emmy give me back the money I gave you.  I felt sorry for you because you were poor, but now I want it back!"

Emmy:  "You can't take back money that you gave me."

Savanna:  "Taxes, Shmaxes.  I don't want any nice roads."

Ansel:  "I don't want to play this anymore!"

Emmy:  "You can't just walk away from the game, Ansel, just because you are losing."

Savanna:  "Look, everyone on the cover is laughing and happy.  Why are you so mad?"

Ansel:  "Whoops, the game just fell on the floor. See ya on the flip side guys."

ME in my head:     "This "game" is a little too real to be fun at all.  What glutton for castigation thought it would be fun to create a game where you are pummeled by the traumatizing anxieties of adulthood?   Milton Bradley, what were you thinking?    I want to play the game of "Childhood" where there is no such thing as taxes or insurance or salaries.....just kick the can and candy in my pockets"